The Rite of Marriage

Between two baptized, practicing Catholics:

Because the sacrifice of the Mass is the center of Catholic life, marriages celebrated between Catholics are generally celebrated after the homily and before the general intercessions (petitions).  Thus the planning of the entire Mass – not just the wedding rite – is of great importance for the bride and groom.  In extraordinary circumstances, the wedding of a Catholic couple may take place outside of the Eucharist.

Between a Catholic and non-Catholic:

In marriages involving a Catholic and a person of another religion, the wedding ceremony takes place outside the Eucharist.  This is especially true if discomfort, misunderstanding or hostility would occur if the Eucharist were celebrated.  However, the marriage between a Catholic and non-Catholic may be celebrated within Mass, with the permission of the Bishop.  However, the wedding of a Catholic and a person of another religion is best celebrated at a wedding in the context of a Liturgy of the Word (Scripture service).  This is presented as the preferable option at St. Mary Church.  You may appoint someone to read the first reading, the second reading, and the General Intercessions (petitions), provided he/she is a competent reader.

Reverence

It is important to remember that a marriage in church is first and foremost a spiritual ceremony.  You should keep a reverent attitude and spirit at all times in the church.  Silence should be maintained in the church out of respect for Christ present in the Blessed Sacrament.  BE ADVISED: There should be no yelling or loud talking at the rehearsal, before the marriage ceremony, or after the ceremony.  At both the rehearsal and the ceremony, absolutely no alcoholic beverages are permitted.  Intoxication automatically invalidates a marriage.  The priest celebrant reserves the right to refuse to marry a couple because of intoxication.

Music, and Scripture Readings

In order to enhance your wedding with the best possible compositions and to allow the full, active and conscious participation of the people gathered, St. Mary’s has established certain rules and guides.  Our Director of Music Ministries is Mr. John Ontko (740-350-4224).  All arrangements must be made three months in advance.  Please do not make any liturgical and/or musical arrangements until you have spoken with him.  Only the St. Mary’s organist is allowed to be the primary organist for weddings at St. Mary’s.  Please discuss using outside keyboard soloists and vocal with the Director of Music.  All song texts must be based on scripture or paraphrased from scripture - No exceptions.

The wedding march from Wagner’s “Lohengrin” (know as “Here Comes The Bride”) is not allowed, and is not allowed in most Catholic churches.  Associations over the years have damaged the meaning of this piece.  The marriage in the opera ends in separation.  The Mendelssohn Wedding March from a “Mid-summer’s Night Dream” accompanies a farcical wedding, far removed from any notion of marriage as a sacrament.

Processions

At St. Mary’s, there are two options for the opening procession.

First, you may choose the traditional procession of the female attendants and the bride processing down the center aisle, while the groom and groomsmen come out from the Wooster street side door in front of the sanctuary steps.  This is the preferred option of the priests at St. Mary’s.

Second, the servers and priest lead the procession to the sanctuary from the back of church.  The attendants, in couples, follow, then the bride and groom, who may be accompanied by parents.  Flower girls may sprinkle petals down the aisle of the church as long as someone is assigned to clean these up after the ceremony.

Attendants

Attendants should be those people who hold special relationships to the couple.  You may have as many or as few attendants as you wish.  Please remember that the number and behavior of the attendants should not interrupt the actions and flow of the liturgical ceremony.  Children under five years of age are ordinarily too young to take part in the wedding ceremony. 

Flowers and Decorations

Flowers and other plants may be placed about the sanctuary and the nave of the church, provided that they do not interfere with the movement of the ceremony.  If the wedding takes place during a liturgical season where decorations are already in place, these decorations must remain in place.  During the season of Advent, decorations are to be minimal.  During the season of Lent, no extra decorations are permitted in church.  Please consult the priests for further instructions and clarifications.  The priest-celebrant must also approve extra candles or special cloths.   Nothing is to be affixed to the pews with wire or tape.  If you desire an aisle cloth, please arrange with a florist for it.  Our aisle is approximately 70 feet long.  We ask that if you place special flowers and plants in the sanctuary, please leave them there for the weekend Masses.  If you choose to move them after the ceremony, remember to have someone available to clean up the debris.

Unity Candle

The use of a “unity candle” during the Wedding Rite is discouraged.  The Unity Candle is not a part of the Rite of Marriage in the Catholic Church.  Be advised that this candle is not to be used as the sign of unity between you and your spouse.  The wedding ring is the best and fullest symbol of that union.

Sending Forth:  Rice, Confetti and Flower Petals

Throwing rice, confetti, flower petals, or bird seed is a maintenance problem.  Our rule is that no bird seed, rice, or confetti be thrown at the wedding party following the ceremony.  Ribbon or Paper Streamers and Flower petals may be strewn provided they are collected and disposed of immediately following the ceremony.  Bubbles and bell ringing are also permitted.

Photographs and Videotaping

Photographers and Videographers must never be an intrusion into the ceremony.  Pictures may be taken during the ceremony without the flash but must be taken from behind or beside the congregation.  At a Wedding Mass, no photography is permitted during the Eucharistic Prayer (beginning with the singing of the “Holy Holy, Holy” and ending after the “Great Amen”).   Photographers or videographers (professionals as well as family members and friends) are NEVER permitted in the sanctuary at any time during the ceremony.  Please consult with the music director before assigning a photographer to the choir loft.  Pictures may be taken before and after the ceremony, but no pictures are permitted past 4:00 P.M.  This allows those who come to church for the Sacrament of Reconciliation quiet time for prayer and recollection.

Preparation Rooms

A preparation room for the bride and her attendants is available on the side of the vestibule.  A preparation room for the groom and his attendants is available downstairs in the social hall on the Wooster Street side of church.  It is the couple’s responsibility to make sure these rooms are left in good condition.   Please remember to have all personal items and litter removed after the ceremony.  If this is not done, a fee will be charged for cleanup.

Marriage License

An Ohio license, valid in Washington County, must be presented to the priest at the wedding rehearsal. 

The Wedding Cantor   

All weddings at St. Mary’s are to have a cantor.  Couples should be aware of the importance of having a cantor at their wedding who will be able to minister in the primary forms of pastoral music making; namely psalms, hymns and acclamations. In many cases, the wedding cantor will also sing solo literature appropriate to the wedding liturgy.   At other times, a parish cantor will be present to animate the assembly’s song and another soloist (perhaps a friend of the couple) will be present to sing solos.  While this person may be a fine singer, he or she may not be comfortable or trained in the ministry of the cantor; thus the need for a trained cantor in addition to the singer.  Whoever sings at a wedding ought to understand the liturgy. As at Sunday liturgy, the cantor should be visible to the gathered community during the primary times for assembly singing. In many church buildings this will require the cantor to be in the assembly area while the organist may be in a choir loft.  However at those times when a solo is to be sung, the cantor may go to the loft in order to be closer to the accompanist and other instruments.   The person who serves as cantor at weddings normally should be someone who serves at Sunday Eucharist and is comfortable in that role.  St. Mary’s Church has many fine cantors for you to choose from for your wedding.  Only our cantors will be allowed to serve at your wedding.  If you have a strong desire to have a friend cantor, he or she must already be, or have been a cantor at a Catholic church.  You will need the permission of the Music Director to do this.   If permission is granted there is a mandatory rehearsal between the organist and guest cantor set at a mutually agreeable time for both.  The organist will be compensated for this rehearsal at $12.50 per each half-hour.  ($25 hour)  It is the couple’s responsibility to contact the cantor and secure the wedding date with them.  Cantors will set their own fee for your wedding.

Parish Cantors

Jean Cech 374-3423

Melissa Corcoran 374-7239

Tiffanie Craven  374-6331     

Joyce Huck 373-5700   

Sue Lambert 373-1417   

Cheryl Nau 373-3749      

 Karen Parlett (304) 464-4080      

Heather Schaad 336-0969

Jennifer Simmons 374-6866      

Wedding Program    All wedding liturgies at St. Mary’s are to have a program, or worship aid.  You have the option of doing it yourself, or letting the St. Mary’s take care of it through a local, inexpensive printer.  If you so chose to do the program yourself, examples will be provided to follow.   In this case, the Music Director must see the final proof, and give approval to go ahead and print. The M/D reserves the right to make any changes necessary.  

Renumerations

Priest - An offering of $75.00 to $100.00  for the priest / celebrant is customary

Servers-  At a wedding Mass, a gratuity of $10.00 each is suggested

Instrumentalists - (ie.Trumpet etc.)  $75.00

String Duo - (Violin & Cello) $ 300.00  Made payable to : David & Cyndy Puls, 1413 Washington St. , Parkersburg, WV 26101

Handbell Choir   $300.00   Made payable to: St. Mary Handbell Choir

Non-registered or non-parishioners will be charged $500.00 for the use of the Church.

Checklist for your Wedding Ceremony

_____Baptismal Certificates

(A copy of your baptismal certificate is necessary if you were not baptized at St. Mary Church)

_____Meeting with the Priest

_____Music and Ceremony Planned with John Ontko

_____Marriage License Obtained

_____Pre-Cana Requirement Fulfilled

Performed by the Trillium Trio

Violin - David Pulls

Cello - Cyndy Pulls

Keyboard - David Cooper & John Ontko

http://www.trilliumpianotrio.com/